Brutality of the Goddess

this is actually a tribute to some of my friends, which is not to say that i am making fun of you guys.  these might just be some of the few things i would propose to be included in the dictionary should i come face to face with merriam webster someday.

i guess this just manifests how much spending time with these few people have actually made an impression on me.  call it whatever you want but here are some of the things that you might also want to include in your vocabulary of unaccepted words/expresions as of yet.

1. Doing the Bob.  what exactly is doing the Bob?  Doing the Bob connotes applying a layer of powder on your face every two minutes in an attempt to appear whiter, paler.  it is applying powder with the intention of achieving a vampiric complexion.  Doing the Bob is also applying blush-on on your eyes to make them rosy pink and applying a swathe of Ballerina Pink lip gloss and shine on your lips until your smackers are redder than red, pinker than pink. 

2. Doing the Pong.  doing the pong is choosing to be stick thin.  it is avoiding every opportunity and refusing to yeild to the temptation of munching down a delectable steak sandwhich in one, two, or three gulps.  doing the pong is believing that you are obese if you hit the 90-pound mark.  doing the pong is loving, living, and breathing black.  it is also the state of being crucified on your gate in a rainy evening after encoding your blasted BC25 paper. 

3. Doing the Julienne.  this one’s a bit tricky.  doing the julienne is a state of being that no matter what you do, you will always incur the ire of your teacher in a major subject.  doing the julienne is synonymous to doing the tawny.  if it is used in a sentence such as: Stop julienning!  it means that one must cease speaking in dabawenyo tagalog and therefore move on to speaking in bisaya even if your are having a freaking hard time doing so.

4. Doing the Metmet.  if you metmet someone, you’re actually prodding someone to divulge very important information.  that someone can be a friend and more often is.  to metmet is to be able to succesfully peel of information of juice out details from a friend who usually tries albeit fails, to hide very important sikretos.  doing the metmet is to be a martyr when it comes to group works and docus.  it is to suffer alone even though you have a companion.  that’s doing the metmet.

5. Doing the Roland.  Rolanding is actually resisting the urge to forgive a homosexual who has wronged you no matter the degree.  it is to believe that to err is human and to forgive–well, to hell with forgiveness.  it is to be brutal in resignation letters and to have a strong affiliation and affinity to koreans.  doing the roland can also be termed as Dicending or doing the dicen.

6. Doing the Lycar. lycaring is something that not all people usually love to do.  it is being very very, to a jillion times, very understanding, caring, and humanitarian.  it is to follow the path of mohandas ghandi and jesus christ by being very forgiving and very martyr-like.  if you lycar, you actually don’t mind sacrificing much of your precious time in the name of service.  to be doing the lycar is like accepting the death penalty instead of your friend.  to do the lycar is to yeild all in the name of service.

7. Doing the Naddie.  naddying is devoting your time to dancing, dancing, and dancing.  if you naddie, you spend your waking hours swaying to the beat of whatever creates a beat.

8. Doing the Juliana.  to say that you are julianning can be viewed as a compliment.  it means being able to prevent committing fashion suicide after giving birth.  julianning is also debating in the most fashionable and intelligent of senses.  if you julianad during the past few weeks, you actually struck a balance between studying and enjoying life while still being able to fulfill the responsibilities of early motherhood.

9. Doing the Matti.  the term doing the matti can only be applied to people 5 feet seven or taller.  it is wrong to tell a person that ‘he/she mattied’ when he falls below the minimum height requirement.  to do the matti is to be able to fluently speak in bisaya despite one’s distinct caucasian features.  if you mattied someone, it also means that you were able to capture the heart of someone deeply religious.  this does not include priests or friars, though.

10. Doing the Bogy.  to do the bogy is to embrace responsibility freely once it is given to you–of course, without expecting the responsibility.  if you bogied, it could also mean that you auditioned for a start search being fully confident that you are indeed super star material.  to say that you bogied your classmate’s song means that you made a music video out of it at the crack of dawn.

11. Doing the Bryce.  have you bryced someone?  maybe you have.  to bryce is to share hot gossip with someone you are close to.  it is to call your friend without really meaning to talk to him or her about the state of the estonian government or why in heaven’s name has gemalyel been assasinated.  to do the bryce is to stir up controversy.

12. Doing the Ces.  Have you cessed someone lately?  you must have.  the term only applies when you have actually gotten into a fierce argument with the security guard because he wouldn’t let you in the campus while riding any vehicle because he insists that you have a pair of legs and you must use them.  to do the ces is to be wrestle with the security guard with your makeup on.  refrain from cessing if you wish to maintain congenial relationships with the security guard.

more to come…more to come…give me suggestions…hehehe…

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