A Moment in Time
I sit beneath the moonlight, one peaceful eleven o’clock, a soft breeze brushing lightly past me, blades of grass prickling my nimble fingers. i love moments like these: when you’re all by yourself in the middle of the vast lawn just between villareal hall and the portal west construction, soaked in your own thoughts, basked in blissful reverie.
i loved the sky. it was one of the most beautiful since the last time i really looked into it. it was a deep, deep violet, flecked with stars and wearing a crescent moon pendant across its celestial chest. peace. paz. i never thought i’d get a slice of it after all that’s been happening. and i loved it. it was the greatest reward i got after working my butt off and getting scores of scolding in return.
the past months had been very hard for me and i hated everyone–myself included for everything that had transpired. i hated to world and the unvierse for conspiring against me and i hated myself for allowing these things to happen. i hated the people for not understanding and i hated those who had deserted me when i needed them the most.
but that’s over and done with. nothing, no matter what, no matter how hard i would try, could change what ever it was that sent my world topsy turvy.
as i sat beside myself in deep contemplation, i shut my eyes really tight and wished as hard as i could that somehow someday, i could do better. i always try my best to give out the best but sometimes, i fall short of myself. and sometimes, i hate myself for that, for not doing my best and for hurting people who don’t deserve such a treatment in the first place. i hate myself for letting a lot of people down, for breaking my promises, and for being really selfish with my ambitions.
sometimes, i hate myself for always acing my tests in school but failing in a handful of tests in the school of life. i hate the times when i take my friends for granted, when i take the people who really matter to me for granted. i hate it when i feel embarrassed to let people read what i’ve wrote, for being such a scaredy cat, and for being someone who has simply let allowed life to drift by over violin lessons and self-study spanish lessons.
i gazed at the stars unblinkingly and soaked in the blanket of peace that lay over me. and then i wished, like a child would upon spotting a falling star, that that moment would be forever frozen in time.
September 4th, 2006 at 6:58 am
grabeha pud nimu stak! is this a blog or a story? ^^ hehehe
September 4th, 2006 at 7:05 am
Sometimes you have to let go. Char.
:D 
September 4th, 2006 at 4:58 pm
aww… it’s ok stak. I don’t exactly know what happened but I do hope you’re ok now. Anytime you want to bitch or shout or scream, call me. We’ll do ‘em together! Then, perhaps after, we could gaze at the sky (with its violet canvas full of tiny twinkling stars), and thank God for the detractors. Else we wouldn’t have known how famous we are. HEHE (kidding)
September 4th, 2006 at 8:28 pm
i don’t give a damn about people who complain for the sake of complaining. only those who have worked a hundred times as hard, only those who have truly contributed something have the right to complain lest they should simply shut their mouths. it saddens me and it is an erosion on the human character to see some people who delve on the most trivial issues when there are so many other things to feast you attention into. it saddens me even more that some people are willing to waste away their time complaining when in fact they never even contributed anything significant to an endeavor. no wonder the philippines has become one big empty bowl. with people who don’t even put their being homo sapiens into use, it’s no wonder that the world is in such a sad and sorry state. some people told me not to juxtapose and compare themselves to the efforts of some other people. i say, i have every right to do so because all of us were created equally. it’s just that some of don’t know what we’re really capable of doing or are just too lazy to get our butts off our chairs.
September 5th, 2006 at 3:14 pm
Pray tell, what have you eaten to make this?
September 5th, 2006 at 5:45 pm
go stak…go! hehe
You really sound mad. But it’s ok stace…release the anger (it’s better that way). Don’t bottle it up. Go stacy, go!
September 6th, 2006 at 8:37 am
to ray donn: beef steak and rice. that’s what i ate. seriously, when you’ve gone through what i’ve gone through, the world seems a lot bigger.
to anna: indeed, darling. and i’d be more than willing to let all these things out before i launch a katyusha missile at the belligerent idiot who would dare let out another trivial issue.
September 9th, 2006 at 2:13 am
Hmmm…Ms. SU pageant topped with school, the SG, and some other problems, beef steak, and rice…I suspect that that is whats making you moody. Be VERY thankful you don’t have my patience and temper. You’ve seen me in an enraged fit and those were just the non-violent ones. Cheer up…have a cookie or kill something in a video game. Trust me, it does wonders especially the latter:)
September 10th, 2006 at 12:50 am
agreed dear cuzin… it’s VERY effective… though i’ve long retired from that…
September 10th, 2006 at 2:58 pm
Hmmm…Davy agrees with me although he says he retired. Did he truly retire is it because the PS2 is broken? In any case killing video game characters is a good thing.
September 11th, 2006 at 8:34 am
stak, hang in there ayt? if there is one person in the world i’d consider as the perfect person it would be you…so don’t sweat, take a bag, breathe deeply and get a squeezy from probably a person who is as thin as i am.
September 11th, 2006 at 7:16 pm
but tawn, you are my only squeezy! come back, come back, come back, tawny dear. i so need a squeezy right now.