Brutality of the Goddess

The Asian Universities’ Debating Championships is coming up.  I’ve been practising really hard at home (well, maybe not that hard.  i have a problem on the discipline department since my lovely desk bed is so inviting especially at 2PM *wink*).  I’ve been collecting matter files and I’ve been case constructing like crazy.

the thing is, that’s not enough to even get you into the tournament.  Friends, romans, countrymen, lend me your cash.  Really, debating can drive you into extreme poverty.  the registration deadline is coming up and i have to have to have to raise 8500 pesos for that damn registration fee.

i don’t really know how in the world i’m going to manage that by monday.  i hope my father will, though.  if God is good enough and if i just pray a wee bit harder, i’m sure it’ll start raining money in no time.  hopefully, it won’t come in coins.  but what the hey, now is not the time to be choosy.

for those of you who have trouble raising money for the audc just lie moi.  here are some tips that you can use at your own risk.

1. if you have the natural talent to play an instrument, sing, dance, or what not.  hurry up and grab a wooden crate and head for the boulevard.  play a series of catchy tunes real or imagined and watch the coins rain on.  oh yeah, don’t forget to bring real thick, opaque shades to give an impression that you’re blind.

2. call up your friends, raid the closet, get anything that’s utterly useless–for you.  you know what they say: one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.  hurry and make a sign with a make up charity chuva and head straight to the cathedral grounds to sell your wares before the pesky guard come and haul you off your spot.

3. ask for all those huge, nido tin cans.  cover the top and incise a slot enough for a coin to slide through.  label the can e.g Piso Para Kay (add you name here).  distirbute the can all over the city, preferrably where a lot of people buy stuff so they can dump their loose change in the cans.

4. if you have lots and lots of friends–sepcifically 8500 of them, ask each one for one peso and voila!  instant reg fee.  if not, divide 8500 by the number of friends you’ve got.  surely at least one of them is gonna give you something!

5. this last suggestion should only be used when all else–and i mean all else–fails.  try to remember if you have a filthy rich suitor and borrow money from him.  make sure that at the time you asked, he is still your suitor.  if you rejected him, then you might as well forget the idea altogether.

of course, after you do all the five things, it’s time for you to change your identity and move to a new city.

as for me, i think i’ll stick to the incessant prayers…it is Lent and i hope God will lend me money.  kidding! ;p

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