Brutality of the Goddess

I am a debater and I have sworn never to stutter in any debate, in any speaking engagement, in any argument.  and yet i still do.  i stutter even when i pronounce a phrase as simple and as elementary as ‘pandemonium.’  i stutter whenever i debate and i find myself at a loss for things to say.  i stutter when i see my coach sitting back with a sullen expression on his pudgy face as if to convey the message that what i’ve just said is like a piece of pumice thrown at a pond–it is weightless.

i am a debater and i have sworn by the pantheon of the debate gods whose names i will not mention, to be constantly informed of the goings-on around the globe.  i have sworn to know every nitty gritty detail regarding the ruby red lace cami that kris aquino wore during the ninth episode of Game Ka Na Ba?  i have sword to know what exactly is going on in the southern precipice of the Hindustan Mountains, in the easterly village of of Uk Ban Krakh. 

I am a debater and i have sworn to organize my speech.  and yet, when i start writing my speech during prep time, i find myself at a loss for logcial links to connect my claim, to support my claim, and the tie back the claim to the motion at hand.  i find myself constantly grasping for answers to the most funadamental questions as ‘is it justifiable?’ ‘is it necessary?’ ‘is it counterproductive?’ and, ‘does a pan-african union actually promot greater self-reliance and sustainability in the regions running through sudan and ethiopia?’

i am a debater and i have sworn to make each debate count, to make sure that each of the 120 minutes i spend on one motion worth every measly second.  and yet, i find myself tossing and turning at night when i recall how faulty my definition has been, how illogical and simplistic my arguments were, and how i generally sucked at the motion ‘thbt the african union should act without the interference of western devices.’

i am a debater and i have always sworn to myself that during the next debate, i will make it and break into the octofinals.  well, it’s been countless debates since and there’s not the faintest sign of breaking.

i am a debater and i have signed a pre-nuptial agreement with my teammates that whatever matter we have gathered before our consolidation as silliman team b, will remain ours at the moment of our parting.

i am a debater, forgive me if i talk about the most nonsensical things like supporting state-sponsored arts or the abolition of boxing.

i debate, therefore i am.

The Asian Universities’ Debating Championships is coming up.  I’ve been practising really hard at home (well, maybe not that hard.  i have a problem on the discipline department since my lovely desk bed is so inviting especially at 2PM *wink*).  I’ve been collecting matter files and I’ve been case constructing like crazy.

the thing is, that’s not enough to even get you into the tournament.  Friends, romans, countrymen, lend me your cash.  Really, debating can drive you into extreme poverty.  the registration deadline is coming up and i have to have to have to raise 8500 pesos for that damn registration fee.

i don’t really know how in the world i’m going to manage that by monday.  i hope my father will, though.  if God is good enough and if i just pray a wee bit harder, i’m sure it’ll start raining money in no time.  hopefully, it won’t come in coins.  but what the hey, now is not the time to be choosy.

for those of you who have trouble raising money for the audc just lie moi.  here are some tips that you can use at your own risk.

1. if you have the natural talent to play an instrument, sing, dance, or what not.  hurry up and grab a wooden crate and head for the boulevard.  play a series of catchy tunes real or imagined and watch the coins rain on.  oh yeah, don’t forget to bring real thick, opaque shades to give an impression that you’re blind.

2. call up your friends, raid the closet, get anything that’s utterly useless–for you.  you know what they say: one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.  hurry and make a sign with a make up charity chuva and head straight to the cathedral grounds to sell your wares before the pesky guard come and haul you off your spot.

3. ask for all those huge, nido tin cans.  cover the top and incise a slot enough for a coin to slide through.  label the can e.g Piso Para Kay (add you name here).  distirbute the can all over the city, preferrably where a lot of people buy stuff so they can dump their loose change in the cans.

4. if you have lots and lots of friends–sepcifically 8500 of them, ask each one for one peso and voila!  instant reg fee.  if not, divide 8500 by the number of friends you’ve got.  surely at least one of them is gonna give you something!

5. this last suggestion should only be used when all else–and i mean all else–fails.  try to remember if you have a filthy rich suitor and borrow money from him.  make sure that at the time you asked, he is still your suitor.  if you rejected him, then you might as well forget the idea altogether.

of course, after you do all the five things, it’s time for you to change your identity and move to a new city.

as for me, i think i’ll stick to the incessant prayers…it is Lent and i hope God will lend me money.  kidding! ;p

my life’s a drag right now and to prove that, i’ve asked my mom to help me convert her old office desk into an elevated bed, given that i don’t really have a bed in my bedroom.

the bed is cool.  it’s a pseudo-victorian bed with three drawers by the foot and my cabinet of clothes as a headboard.  you won’t be able to find a bed like that anywhere else in the world.  swear.  i asked for the old mattress and covered it up nicely.  i also harbored a couple of fluffy pillows and voila!  instant cheap victorian bed.

it’s very comfy, especially during afternoon siestas.  the room can be a bit baking at times but there’s nothing like turning on the air conditioner at the maximum and focusing the electric fan on the bed while setting it at number three to make the temperature bearable.

this summer, haven’t been really up to anything special.  okay, maybe there is that little part of plotting to liquidate my terroristic teachers (no names will be mentioned lest the FBI, Scotland Yard, and Interpol will come after me).  seriously, i’ve only been self-studying basic spanish, debating with my self (it’s more than an iron man thing), and practising the violin to death.

God!  it’s so boring here.  i wish i had a lot of money–a bagful of cold cash to splurge on trips and shopping expeditions.  i still have my eye on that lovely pair of tangerine embellished flats from via venetto worth 3200 pesos (anyone want to donate some cash? kidding!)

the only thing that’s keeping my up and about right now is the easter play and turning the comment’s board in the friendster blog into a chatroom with anna.

hahay…

The fifth inquirer inter-collegiate debating championships has just ended.  Apart from being fed in UPD with a less than delectable meal of squid tentacles, sauce, and rice drenched in squid sauce and crushed tomatoes, i’d have to say that competition was one of the best i’ve had in ages.

it’s not because i’ve missed travelling so much (which i really do).  it’s more because of the fact that i’ve had a really great time bonding with my fellow team mates and strolling along the bay walk even for just ten minutes.

the 5th iidc was the first competition i’ve joined as an adjudicator and i tell you, it’s just so hilarious, no offense to the teams i’m referring to.  first off, there was this debate about warrantless wiretaps.  okay, here comes government proposing to use warrantless wiretaps for US safety.  the setup was somewhat weak and i did see and huge chance for opposition to grab the debate–until the leader of the opposition stood behind the podium and said "Madam chair, we do not go for warrantless wiretaps because such method is an invasion of privacy.  instead, we go for espionage."  okay.  i’d like to thank him for making my job easier by not realizing that warrantless wiretaps and espionage were one and thesame thing.

there was also another debate in which the motion was about revoking a patient’s right to refuse medically necessary treatment.  sad to say, the prime minister set the debate on communicable diseases like coughs, colds, and stds.  he added later that a pandemic on the common cold was highly deterimental.  wow.  now why didn’t i think of that?

apart from the bloopers, there were endless nights of chizmax with anna and charmaine.  the poor dears also had to endure mark’s endless torments of non-stop teasing. 

when we were bored to death, we’d play cards, pinoy henyo, charades, and we’d chizmax about our defunct love lives.  i’m oh-so looking forward to the audc.  more games, more of mark’s hostilities, more chizmax. cool.