Brutality of the Goddess

I took this quiz one time in Blogthings.com on " What were you in a past life?" Honestly, I’m quite intrigued with what i was way before i lived this life.  Was I a queen in a lofty moutnain-top castle?  Was I a grimy peasant who gathered hay for living?  Or was I perhaps a nun locked up in a monastery somehwere?

Without any hesitation and with my curiosity as my driving force, I immediately leaned nearer to the monitor and typed in what was required.  the computer started loading the results and i was just too excited to hold myself.  what would have been an answer to my eternal question resulted in one big joke.

the results?  well, it said that I was once an albino mathematician from Bohemia who died of being buried alive.  I can’t quite agree with that.  for one, i was no genius when it came to math.  two, it was plain and utterly impossible.  At least i wasn’t a greasy fortune teller from South Africa who died of over eating or an arrogant cannibal from North Africa who died of dysentery.  That would’ve been just outrageous.

it’s amazing how so many people wish to find out more about this little thing we call reincarnation.  i mean, could it really be possible?  could we have been differnt people?  could our souls have been simply recycled?  why do we not remember anything from our past lives granting we did have any?

they say there are past-life journeys people can venture into every now and then.  i’d love to try that someday. 

they also said that the people we know now are the very same ones we knew in our previous lives only we had different roles.  wow. 

right now, i’m trying to remember and look at every detail of the things around me so that i’ll get to remember them somehow someday.

first of all, i’m so sorry to have heard you’ve died.  okay, i’m not really sorry.  in fact, i feel emancipated at having heard that you’ve left the world.  however, for formality’s sake, allow my to express my condolences.

how is heaven?  are the angles kind?  does God look dashing?  is the halo on your head warm as the morning sunshine?  or am i utterly long?  did you end up in hell instead?  If you did, do the demons have feverish red skin, pointed chins, horns, pitchforks, and pointed tails?

too any questions for so little gray matter in between the ears, eh? 

i can’t help but acknowledge the blatant fact that i am also responsible for your death.  i mean, no one could have survived such blow–a blow on corazon at that.  tsk…you poor, weakling…if only you had been exposed to the harshest weathers then perhaps you could have made it.

but it’s a good thing you did not.  i could not have stood another hour with you lurking int he vicinity.

i’m not sorry for having ruined your life.  you like that, don’t you?  or perhaps all of it was simply lip service.  i can’t believe you’d be so immature as to pick on my dearest and closest buddies.  now, you’ve paid with your life.  pathetic.

you always wanted to get your way done but not until you met someone who thought with the ‘my way or the highway’ mentality.

if my words had only been knives, you’d have long been a bleeding carcass.  remember when i called you a weirdo straight to your face?  in fact, you give the capital W in weird.  you ought to change your name to Abner (no offence to anyone) as it is closer to the word ‘abnormal’

you’re an accident waiting to happen.  your death is but a blessing to all of us and we have ourselves to thank for.  i’m already giving myself a pat on the back for what i’ve done.

be good in heaven, hell, or purgatory.  Remember, i hate you.

NOTE: none of the above written entry is true.  this is only an exerpt of my exercise for my self-study/self-improvement program on creative writing.

Every since I was a kid, i never had the chance to write down a wish list of some sort.  You know, the kind you’d write to Santa or to the Tooth Fairy–the stuff you’re dying to have, the stuff you believe you’ll die without.  I never tried writing that wish list and I’d really like to start now.  Hmm… Let me see…  what would i really want come my birthday?

1. a one-day shopping spree at Bayo with discounts as high as 90%.

2. a three-day shopping escapade to Bangkok, Paris, Hong Kong, and maybe Singapore.

3. unlimited discounts at Folded and Hung, Freeway, Penshoppe, and Confetti.

4. extra small sizes for all jeans and apparel from the shops mentioned above.

5. 101 ballet flats in all designs, colors, and what have you.

6. 1000 dangling ear rings to minimize that chances of my wearing them again

7. the fastest computer in the world so i don’t have to wait an eternity for MS Word to open

8. Constant updates on Photoshop Adobe and Page Maker

9. 2000 kinds of flowy skirts, peasant skirts, mini skirts, and pencil skirts

10. 2000 kinds of embellished jeans, acid-washed jeans, and plain jeans.

11. a digital camera

12. a video recorder

13. a tape recorder so i don’t have to take notes anymore when i’ll be interviewing someone.

14. a rom of my own.

15. interior design for my room

16. a plasma sphere

17. a crystal ball.

18. 10,000 kinds of scrunchies

19. 7000 different styles of eye glasses

20. 6054 ethnic necklaces and egyptian bibs

21. a complete set of books by jane yolen, gail carson levine, and alexander lloyd

22. a centralized air-conditioned house

23. ballerina figurines

24. a set of water-color pencils that come in 1000 different colors

25. 2000 kinds of pointed pumps from janilyn

26. 3000 wedge sandals

27. 4000 kinds of bracelets

28. original deve copies of all broadway hits

29. a creative writer’s handbook

30. a private plane that’ll take me wherever i want anytime i want

31. a cellphone that doesn’t run out of space

32. lip gloss from the body shop

33. unlimited internet access

34. a laptop

35. an mp3 player

36. a cd player

37. a dvd player

38. a disc man

39. khaki shorts from bench

40. polka dotted teal empire tops

41. 50 pairs of cute sneakers

42. sun dresses to last me a life time

43. a ball pen that won’t run out of ink

44. a notebook that doesn’t run out of space

45. a house that acres big

46. a topiary maze at the back of that house

47. a swimming pool

48. an exchange scholarship grant

49. to grow a bit taller

50. to grow a bit fatter

51. violin sheet music for all the songs that i want

52. an orange picanto

53. a yacht

54. a cottage in the european countryside

55. to own ONE BIG company

56. a home theater

57. unlimited passes for ballet concerts

58. all the copies of Chicken Soup Books

59. to improve in my writing

60. to be one hell of a visual artist

61. to a be a better ballet dancer

62. to be more friendly

63. to smile more often

64. to be more confident with myself and my capabilities

65. to be able to inspire others

66. to be able to travel in space

67. to shake hands with occupants of interplanetary craft

68. to be able to speak 20 languages

69. to sit on a grassy meadow on a cool and quiet night and just count the stars

70. to become a better person

71. to become more assertive on what i believe is right

72. to be a better role model for my brother and my younger cousins

73. to be a better friend to my friends

74. to be more efficient as a student

75. to be a more interesting speaker

76. to finish reading 1000 books in my life time

77. to write 1000 books in my life time

78. to go diving in the pacific ocean

79. to discover Atlantis

80. to be the first to use a time machine

81. to be able to see the past and the future

82. to enhance my psychic abilities

83. to be able to read minds

84. to be able to answer all my teacher’s questions

85. to get a grade of 4.0 in all my subjects

86. to graduate with highest honors in college

87. to be able to work in a stable company

88. to get a high-paying job

89. to keep the people i love from disheartening moments that involve me

90. to be a fool some times

91. to loosen up most of the time

92. to take my life in stride

93. to come up with the most sensible of answers to any person’s questions

94. to be mroe witty

95. to have a photographic memory

96. to write 30 odes and elegies

97. to come up with the most mind-boggling discovery of all time

98. to master a sport

99. to traverse Mt. Everest

100. to know how to sing in tune

101. and finally, i wish that lal my wishes come true.

however, i just realized that all i needed after all was just GOD.  Plain and simple as that.

Now i know the reason why some people are scared to say hi to me.  It’s actually one of the most pathetic reasons i have heard.  they say I’m intimidating.  WHAT’S THAT?  Intimidating?  Come on.  Really now? I can’t be that intimidating for people to actually be scared of ME.

I’m actually short, bug-eyed, and just too plain for words, for all i know.

I’m your everyday, average little girl who grumbles when there’s too much to do and does thesame when there’s nothing to do.

I make mistakes (costly ones and not-so-costly ones) time and time again.

I’ve hurt several people intentionally and unintentionally.

I’m 100% human.

I cannot say hi to everyone or wave a jolly HELLO! because for one, i don’t know everyone.  number two, even if i know the person by name or by face, i’m really shy and i feel awkward having to flash a big, toothy grin and having to shout a resounding hi.  good grief, that person might look at me as if i were a deranged psycho path who loved to scare with compassion.

I’m really, acutely shy.  i feel inferior and intimidated to several people on campus. 

So i guess, if you are the type who feels intimidated by my mere presence, you know now that the feeling is mutual. 

I am willing to be a tad bit more smiley but i need your help.

Phew…until my next blog then.

Someone told me to publish my top three for my semi-controversial entry of "Criteria for Judging."

Honestly now, i would love to.  I mean, it would just clear out some stuff and it might–it just might–give me the peace i need.  But really, come to think of it, publishing my top three would only make people stop guessing and thinking as to who the people who might have passed actually are.

Okay, so you might say "there were actually people who passed that rigid albeit unreasonable criteria?"  I’m not very sure, though.

However, I would love you guys to tell me your guesses.  Drop me a note about that and we’ll see who gets the correct answers.