Brutality of the Goddess

OKay, let’s get straight to the point.  I know a lot of girls who have a humungous trouble telling off annoying, unwanted suitors.  Believe me, those guys can be a real pain.  Too blinded by love and perhaps, at some point (though it only happens to some) obsession, they just dont’ know what "NO" means.  Or perhaps they just refuse to remember. 

So, here are some tips one how to get Mr. Absolutely Wrong out of your sight and out of your world–PRONTO!

1. KEEPING DISTANCE.  Perhaps he is a good friend or perhaps just someone you kenw the other week or so.  He courts you but you jsut don’t see yourself walking down the acacia-shaded paths with him.  the problem is, you don’t have the heart to tell him just that.  Hence, spend little time with him.  Don’t let him walk you to your classes or anywhere else.  Make him feel that you don’t want him to be near you.

2. THE COLD SHOULDER. Okay, so maybe he thinks you’re just busy that’s why you can’t be with him as much as you did when you didn’t know he had this little thing for you.  This time, don’t only stay away from him.  don’t talk to him, don’t mind him, JUST PRETEND HE DOESN’T EXIST. That should let him know without explicitly telling him.

3. PADUNGOG EFFECT. All right, so he’s that dense.  Walk with your friends and when he’s around, talk to your friends in a loud voice about how much you don’t like that freaky suitor of yours, about how much you get annoyed by the mere sight of his shadow, about how much you just abhor him.

4. SECURE THE PERIMETER. Some suitors are just too dumb to know read between the lines.  Get a few friends, and, if he’s the stalking kind, let then guard you and secure the perimeter so as not to give him a chance to go near you.

5. THE LAST RESORT. If all else fails, unleash the evil witch within.  tell him frankly that you don’t like him.  that the feeling isn’t mutual and that you just cannot see yourself being known as his girlfriend.  Vent out your frustrations though keep it at a civil level.  Tall him " What part of I don’t like you do you now understand?"  this last one might be really painful to him and it might reduce his ego a hundred times but hey, it works.  it’s like pulling a band aid: quick but with fleeting pain.  After which, you can bid him a fond farewell.

Of course, there are more ways to get rid of the unwanted but the five are some of the most common and almost that effective.  NUmber 5 is of course, the most popular choice.  If you are faced with an UNWANTED ONE, do not hesitate to do what you can to get rid of HIM. 

P.S. If you need anymore advice, just drop me a line and I’ll come up with one as soon as I can.  I’ll be very glad to be of service :) 

A good friend of mine has a serious problem: she has a stalker.  Woah.  And just when you thought they only exist in the movies or they only happen to someone else. 

Honestly, i wouldn’t mind if I were stalked by someone who was young, good looking, smart, and just about my type.  However, I don’t think there are stalkers of that nature.  My friend’s stalker happens to be as ancient as Silliman Hall, as grotesque as the rotos of the acacia, and as formidable as the mutated monster lurking in the bowels of the marine lab’s alligator pit.

It’s amazing how much he knows the whereabouts of my friend considering he’s not from the campus.  He follows her to classes, he stares at her in a freaky kind of way.  Good gawd!  He’s every bit as creepy.  Actually, I’ve got this hunch that he must have graduated Summa cum laude from the Hannibal Lecter School for Psychos, major in Stalking.

There’s bee word going around that he doesn’t just stalk anyone.  That person has to be mestiza, tall, and well, someone who has super model looks.  I have to admit, he has taste.

He might not be aware of it, but he’s really bothering my friend.  Now, she has to go everywhere with a body guard.  For goodness’ sake, he’s old enough to be her father or her grandfather at most.  he dresses up really shabbily.  AT least, he could stalk in armani exchange threads to make things look touche.

I do hope he stops and i do hope he grows up pronto!  Geesh, the chances of my friend falling for him are about a gazillion to 0.000000001.