Brutality of the Goddess

just a few days ago, my friends dubbed me as the most abnormal, most problematic person on campus.  a perfectionist, according to some, and someone who should pre-enlist to the convent of our lady of carmelites out of sheer hopelessness of finding that right person.

i don’t blame them.  it must have been the way i was brought up or it could have been becuase of the kind of atmosphere i live in.  i don’t loathe love and all that jazz.  in fact, i could watch romantic flicks all day and i still prefer reading books with some romantic element, though not too much.  yet the thought of those things (e.g. relationships, break-ups, mushy stuff) happen to me is absolutely out of the question.

my friend asked my what kind of guy i liked.  well, here it goes:

1. thou must look good.  after all, it’s always the physical aspect that people notice first and not the personality, mind you.  for people to say that ‘what attracted me to you FIRST was your personality’ is pure baloney, according to tito jojo.  i like guys who look good.  no chinitos, please, unless they plan to look like my cousins. i prefer mestizos though morenos are acceptable enough.

2. thou must not be ancient.  look, i don’t go for guys who are way older than me.  i’m not looking for a father figure and my dad’s still alive, mind you.  i prefer guys who are either my age or at most, three years older.  never anyone beyond, or younger than that.  i don’t like to look like someone’s older sister, anyway.

3. thou must know how to make me laugh.  i like guys who can crack a decent joke and who can find humor in almost anything.  i don’t like guys who brood or mope over things.  neither do i like guys who are over sensitive.  humor is always the key.  just don’t overdo it, though.

4. thou must be intelligent.  honestly, i don’t like guys who are doing a terrible job in their studies.  failing any subject be it a major, minor, or a non-credit one is a huge turn-off.  i like guys who exert an effort to make it to the honor roll or the dean’s list because aside from looking good, one must have a good amount of gray matter inside that skull.

5. thou must be versatile.  if you can make it to the dean’s list, heck, i don’t see any reason why you cannot juggle a few extra-co’s in the process.  guys who are both good at academics and extracurricular are uber-cool.

6. thou must be above the poverty line.  okay, so skip that ‘for richer or for poorer’ crap.  hey, times like these call for practicality.  i can lend you money once or twice but no more than that.  guys who make their girls cash cows are definitely out of the list.

7. thou must be loyal.  i still believe in the rule of one.  that means one girl at a time.  the ‘collect and select’ kind of guys deserve to burn in hell. enough said.

8. thou must not be clingy.  i hate guys who follow me around like a sick little puppy.  i need time to myself and so do you.  not every time can be spent just staring into a one face and talking to one person.  i need time to introspect, and basically, the lesser i see you, the better.

9. thou must not demand too much time.  the guy is not my only obligation.  my schedule is cramped from sunday to saturday, i need to study at least two hours on weekdays and four hours on weekends, i need to fulfill my writing obligations, and i need to catch a few winks.  for both of us, studies and responsibilities must come first.

10. thou must not rob me of my freedom.  i abhor guys who tell me what i could and what i could not do, what i could and could not wear, who i could and could not hang-out with.  i’m not your robot, i’m not your slave, i do not take orders from anyone but my superiors and you are definitely not my superior nor am i your underling.  i need some space and i have a brain so i can make decisions for myself, thank you.

basically, i’m not looking for a perfect guy.  i’m fine with guys who make mistakes (though not too many catastrophic ones).  i’m just looking for someone who’s all in one.  someone i won’t be ashamed of being with or talking about.  someone who’s all that.  no wonder i’m an honorary member of NBSB.

being told that your preposterous in something you perceive to do quite well enough is like putting fertilizer on seeds of anger and watching those seeds grow into a tangled mass at record speed.

and to think the one who said that can’t even make a decent piece to save his/her life.  it’s true, we have different styles, different formats–heck, we’re just so different!  just because some of us write differently does no mean we don’t know how to do it becuase we do–and we do things better.

the moment those words rolled out of that malign, thin-lipped mouth, it was as if Pandora had opened that tiny little box of evil-neevils again.  though this time, the box took human form.

that was a general show of tactlessness.  wow.  i mean, thanks so much for the encouragement but i certainly believe i can get that encouragement elsewhere.  i can work with people but not those kinds of people.

i respect my superiors only if they show me they deserve that respect.  respect after all is a two-way thing.  who wants to respect someone who doesn’t even deserve a syllable of that word?

well, i am sure of myself.  i know who i am and i know what i do best and what i totally suck in.  i’m a vindictive little brat and if they can’t live with that, then they can’t live with me.

what’s worse than being humiliated in front of 2,181 people who know you by face in campus?

it’s got to be dragging a 2000+ page dictionary way up the fourth floor of the AS building for no particular reason, whatsoever.  honestly, it’s big, it’s thick, and it’s filled with a wealth of facts that you won’t be able to use unless you join ‘who wants to be a millionair?’

teachers these days. it’s amazing how some of them are actually paid to make their students suffer.  and they call it quality education.  here here.  no pain no gain.  but hey, this is too painful and i just have this nasty feeling that my arms will snap before i even set foot on the second floor.

this is too much.  but for some people, it’s just no enough.

it’s not even close to valentine’s but hey, here are some tips for guys who are into the other subspecies of the female genera: femalia geekae a.k.a, the geeky chicks.

i understand that a lot of guys who are into this variety are absolutely tabula rasa on how to take the first steps to winning a geek’s heart.

1. first off, cut the flowers.  Statistics tell us taht around 89.6789% of geeky gals just hate being given flowers. so, to play safe, please, no roses, tulips, chrsanthemums, euphorbias, especially NOT carnations (uh, these are for the dead).  If you want to give your girl something with leaves and something that’s alive, a venus flytrap will do.  at least it can be studied.

2. no stuffed toys.  geeky girls don’t like having dust gatherers around, i swear.  not only are these things a waste of space, hey, they are pretty useless.  if you want something that she won’t throw into the bowels of her closet, why not give her a nice video game instead? 

3. crush the mush.  so okay, you’re the kind of person who likes to hold hands and get really touchy.  well boo-hoo.  if you were going for femalia kikaii, then perhaps you’d score big time.  but since you’re not, keep your hands to yourself, buster.

4. ten paces back (or so).  geeky girls hate clingy guys.  it’s like having an unwanted tail that you’d want to so badly chop off.  geeky girls want time for themselves so just buzz off when you don’t have any business.

5. talk, talk, talk. it’s pretty boring if a guy just shuts up in a corner.  geeky girls are into fond conversations from the usual school gossip to the pressing situation in darfur.  don’t be unilateral, man.  do some research.

these are only some of the how-to’s in dealing with geeky gals.  will come up with more next time.

if there’s one thing that makes me want to explode into a gazillion radioactive pieces, it’s got to be the fact that i’m surrounded by a few pseudo-know-hows in a place where one’s own style should thrive.

my life’s on the line should i venture more into the details so let’s keep this blog sort of vague.  pity me.  i’m only a puny sixteen year-old who looks so convincingly like a preteen.  at least, that’s what some people have told me.

anyway, a couple of weeks into the biz and really, i just want to strangle some people for being so damn nitpicky.  it just so happens that these nitpicky googlies can’t even manage to come up with a decent work and here they are giving the poor underlings hell on earth.

good GOD.  we’re not even close to judgment day and it seems like a few of the devil’s kids have maanged to squeeze their way out from their cavernous, brimstone abodes.

bear with me.  i’m quite pissed off already but i think i can handle it quite well for the next nine months or so.  now let’s see if they can bear with me for the next nine months or so.  still waters run deep, you know.

Okay, let’s get straight to the point.  I’m practically itching to go back to school.  It never occurred to me before what a drag two whole months of basking under the sun have really been.  I want to take down notes, study, and take tests.  Weird?  You’re not the first one to think so.  I call it life.  I call it fun.  Really, it’s something that makes life worth while.  Nothing beats having to sit in a classroom half-filled with students who are either too tired to listen to their teacher drone or students who feel like taking in each and every word the professor has uttered.

As for matters of the heart, well, that might go into another post (should it come along, though i doubt).